Some thoughts about routine at the moment. Often we can think that our routine is too much, too intense, too busy. We can long for extra space and time. An escape from routine, from structure. The days before a holiday often feeling the busiest and we can feel the greatest need to get away from the demands that our routine and structure places upon us at these times. Often daydreaming about a world without routine or structure, where we would easily and spontaneously fill and enjoy our time.
Now suddenly for a lot of us our routine and structure has completely changed, in a way none of us would have chosen. The reality of this can lead to us feeling lost or adrift in ways we may not have expected or experienced before.
So how do we create routine?
How do we hold structure when we are constantly receiving new and evolving information?
When activities and interactions we would have taken for granted are no longer possible?
How do we still feel like us, when a lot of the things that in our minds go together to define us, are no longer available?
A day-by-day redefining is necessary. Remembering we are trying to do this while our vision is obscured by a cloud of fear and uncertainty
One of the first steps can be acknowledgement. In compassion-focused therapy terms, "name it to tame it".
Acknowledge the anxiety, the sadness, or whatever emotion this situation presents. Take a moment to label the feelings you are experiencing.
Think about the ways you can create a new routine.
What are the mini changes you can put in place to allow you to feel grounded?
Maybe taking time to eat breakfast when a morning commute has previously prevented this.
Taking time to have a bath if you've always been a shower person.
At the risk of seeming crass; maybe learning a new skill, maybe crafting, taking an online language course or reconnecting with something you used to enjoy.
If you'd normally meet friends for coffee can you make it a video cuppa date?
There's a lot being asked of us right now so being really gentle and kind with ourselves and our expectations of ourselves is key.
When times are tough I often have Hugh Grant's character Will Freeman in About a Boy in my head. He's unemployed - living on the royalties of a hit Christmas song his dad wrote and describes how he lives life in 30-minute units - that's a manageable chunk, anything else is "a bit intimidating". So at times maybe the best we can do is channel our inner Will Freeman and take it 30 minutes at a time.
Sarah Kenny
Online CBT Therapist
My Therapist Online
