Do you often find yourself tangled up in negative or worry thoughts?
When your mind pulls you into anxious thinking, does it help you move closer to the things that really matter to you—or does it pull you away?
When you're living with high anxiety problems such as OCD, BDD, or phobias, it’s common for your mind to feel like it’s constantly on high alert. You might feel like you're being bombarded with urgent, distressing, or intrusive thoughts. And while people often mean well when they say things like “just think positively” or “try not to think about it,” the reality is, for many of us, that kind of advice simply doesn’t work. In fact, it can make us feel more stuck and more alone.
So let’s try something different.
Instead of asking, “How do I stop this thought?”, what if we asked, “How do I want to respond to this thought?”
Our minds generate thousands of thoughts a day—some random, some uncomfortable, some downright frightening. That’s what minds do. In a way, it’s your brain trying to guess or predict, especially when it’s trying to protect you. But the trouble begins when we label a thought as “bad” or “dangerous” and start treating it like a problem to solve. That can actually give the thought more power.
Here’s something to hold onto:
Thoughts aren’t facts.
They’re not warnings.
They’re not instructions.
They’re not necessarily reflections of who you are.
They’re just... thoughts.
“Thoughts aren’t facts, instructions, or warnings—they’re just thoughts.”
What Is Cognitive Defusion?
Cognitive defusion is a technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that helps you step back from your thoughts, rather than getting pulled into them. It's not about denying your thoughts or pretending they don’t bother you. It’s about seeing them for what they are, just words and stories your mind is creating.
It’s the difference between being in the storm, and watching the storm pass by from shelter.
Between feeling consumed by a thought, and simply noticing, “Ah, there’s that one again.”
This isn’t about forcing yourself to feel positive. It’s about creating just enough space between you and your thoughts so that you can choose your actions, rather than your mind choosing for you.
“Defusion helps you look AT the thought, instead of trying to look FROM the thought.”
This takes practice, and patience. And that’s okay.
Like anything worth learning, we’re not aiming for perfection. We’re aiming for progress, even if it starts small.
A Helpful Metaphor: The Salt in the Water
Imagine your negative or unwanted thoughts as a pile of salt in a small egg cup. When all that salt is crammed into such a tiny space, it feels overwhelming, it's all you can see, and it seems like too much to handle.
Now, picture pouring that same amount of salt into a large jug of water. The salt is still there, but it’s dispersed and diluted. It’s not gone, but its intensity is significantly reduced, you barely notice it anymore.
This is what diffusion techniques aim to do with your thoughts. Instead of trying to eliminate negative thoughts altogether (which is often impossible), diffusion helps you create space around them, so they feel less overwhelming and intense. You’re not getting rid of the salt; you’re just giving it more room, so it doesn't dominate your experience.
Through practices like mindfulness, visualisation, and acceptance, you can learn to let your thoughts exist without allowing them to control or consume you. The thoughts remain, but their power over you lessens, just like the salt spreading out in the water.
Using Defusion During ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention)
If you’re doing ERP for anxiety problems, you’ll know that tough, intrusive thoughts and feelings often show up during the task. It’s natural to want to wait until the anxiety dies down, or until the thoughts go away. But that can delay your progress.
Instead, try a defusion approach. When a scary or repetitive thought pops up, you might say:
“I’m noticing the thought that I can’t cope.”
“I’m having a thought that something bad will happen.”
“There’s my mind doing its scary story again.”
Or even, “Thanks, mind!”, and carry on with your exposure.
You're not denying the thought. You’re simply choosing not to let it be the one in charge.
“You don’t need to get rid of the thought—you just need to create space around it.”
Creating Space, Not Battles
If you live with anxiety, your mind can sometimes feel like a battlefield. But what if the goal isn’t to fight or argue with every thought, but to make space for them?
Cognitive defusion offers a powerful way to step back from your thoughts and reconnect with your values. You don’t have to like the thought. You don’t have to agree with it. You just need to notice it, and decide what matters to you in that moment.
Over time, this practice builds psychological flexibility, which is the ability to act in line with your values, even when uncomfortable thoughts or feelings are present.
Remember, progress doesn’t mean the absence of difficult thoughts. It means having them, and doing what matters anyway.
Written by:
Lisa Johnston, BABCP Accredited, EMDR and ACT Therapist
Clinical Director & Founder of My Therapist Online
Lisa is an Accredited Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and EMDR Therapist with over 20 years of clinical experience and specialist expertise in treating anxiety-related conditions. She spent seven years at the renowned National Anxiety Disorders Service at Bethlem Royal Hospital, working alongside Professor David Veale, and has been delivering highly effective online therapy since 2012. Lisa specialises in the treatment of OCD, BDD, and Emetophobia, and is passionate about providing compassionate, evidence-based therapy that fits around people’s lives.